Overwhelm surprises so many moms who confide in me:
“If only I could see it coming.”
“It just comes out of nowhere.”
“I just go from fine to not fine.”
In moments of overwhelm & overstimulation, so many moms say they’re so surprised that they don’t have a chance to respond differently, even if they want to.
Where does this surprise come from? And more importantly, how can you feel a little less surprised?
Overwhelmed Moms: Meet Interoception
Interoception is your body’s sense of what’s going on inside of you, including some specialized touch sensors. You first notice the sensation, label it (emotion), then respond to it.
That gut feeling? Interoception.
Feeling butterflies? Interoception.
Gotta go right now? Interoception.
Those eureka, intuitive decisions? You guessed it.
But it’s so much more! And it’s also a really exciting area of neuroscience research that’s revolutionizing how we understand our emotions and self-regulation. If you want to know more, check out resources from Kelly Mahler and any research by Bud Craig, like this article or book .
Your sense of interoception is largely perceived in your brain’s insula. You have a left and right insula, and it’s an amazing region toward the center of your brain that receives and interprets internal signals from your body.
It’s also involved in your sense of proprioception (your sense of body position). If you’ve talked with me before, you’ve heard about using your muscles to push/pull/carry to feed this sense, and how centering it can be when you’re overwhelmed. See why now?
Foundation of Self-Regulation
See, for a while we’ve had things backwards. We’ve labeled emotions for our kids and ourselves and then gone from there but really… you only have emotions because your body interprets the internal feelings first.
Going to emotions first is like building a mansion when you’ve never made a starter home, and you don’t even know what it’s like to hold a saw. Ineffective, disappointing and REALLY FRUSTRATING.
So interoception is key to handling your big emotions as moms and riding the waves of overstimulation.
Gateway to Intuitive Decisions
Decision fatigue & overwhelm is REAL as moms and as homeschoolers. Using our logic-centered decision process for everything is exhausting on many levels. Intuitive decision making is based on patterns largely influenced by the insula and patterns of experience.
If you could use a stronger intuition and are tired of over-thinking… build your interoceptive awareness!
Interoception Example
Remember the notice, label, respond accordingly from earlier? There can be problems with any of those steps. But I’ll describe the most common breakdown that I’ve seen with moms: noticing.
Let’s think about a stop sign. Imagine driving down the road and you come to a stop sign. To do the most functional thing at a stop sign (STOP), you need to:
- Notice the red hexagon thing beside the road.
- Label it as a stop sign
- STOP
But you don’t. Your kids are arguing, you look at the clock, and you run it.
And a police officer was parked and watching.
You get pulled over, and the police officer asks if you saw the stop sign, and you respond with a polite “No.” You get a ticket, and you’re angry because you didn’t even notice the sign even though you drive this road ALL THE TIME!
Interoception in Overwhelm
Now let’s think about it in terms of overwhelm because your kid won’t stop yelling your name while you’re trying to teach a new math concept (your fave, I’m sure), and your toddler is tapping your shoulder to get your attention:
- You don’t notice your short breathing & clenched jaw
- So you can’t even label it as frustration & overstimulation so that…
- You can respond with strategies to bring you to a place of stability
How Would Interoceptive Awareness Change Things for Overwhelmed Moms?
Now think of the same situation, but this time you do actually:
- Notice the tension in your jaw and your breathing getting shallower
- Label that as increasing frustration
- Respond with alternate nostril breathing, pause the lesson, and step outside.
Can I Build Interoceptive Awareness?
Yes! MRI’s show fascinating changes in the insula of the brain– positive and negative. It’s different from birth for some people, just like anything else. Experience also plays a role, as those who’ve lived through trauma show less dense and smaller insula.
The opposite is true of those who practice intentional body mindfulness. Here’s the good news: Neuroplasticity is amazing, and it can affect the insula as well!
How Can I Get Started?
Look, mama…this doesn’t have to be anything intense, like becoming a professional yogi or something. You can start with these 3:
-Stop ignoring the body signals you do get.
Basic body needs should be tended to, mamas. Stop ignoring bathroom trips, bedtime, and urges to move. Cultures sometimes glorify the martyrdom of motherhood, and I get it. Sometimes we do have to ignore our needs for others, but chances are that you’re doing it way more than you realize.
-Practice non-judgmental curiosity about your own body signals.
“I feel my heart beating faster than usual. Wonder why?”
“My shoulders have been tense for our whole math lesson. What could this mean?”
Sometimes it’s easier to start with our external senses in the moment. Want to know what that looks like? Check out some of Kelly Mahler’s resources linked above.
You can use this same language for the kids as you grow alongside eachother.
-Question how often you multitask
Sensory overwhelm, life stress, doing a lot at once… honestly, sometimes there’s a lot we can’t control. BUT, buying into the lie that doing as much as we can at once really drowns out our own inner senses.
Your turn now
Put one of these into practice this week. Tip: Practice when you’re not overwhelmed first! And let me know your thoughts on Instagram! Tag me @sensationalmoms or shoot me an email.
I’d be honored to support you along the way and see how interoceptive awareness can fuel your connection with your loved ones by connecting with yourself first. Schedule a free consultation today.
