Welcome to summer! Maybe you feel overstimulated already, with different routines, weather, excitement… or maybe you’re refreshed! But it’s only a matter of time before the allure of a brand new school year starts calling your name with its fresh planner pages and maybe some colored pens, too.
If you’ve been overwhelmed, you might be tempted to think a new curriculum or planner might solve your problems, and sometimes it might help for a little while. But when:
- your kid spills juice on the floor for the second time this morning while
- your pre-teen cries during math lesson
- and your dog keeps barking at squirrels through the front door
…your dysregulation will still be there, new color-coded planner or not.
You need lasting changes if you’ve been struggling with the burnout and overwhelm that can come from constantly feeling overstimulated with your life at home.
If you’re ready to jump off that merry-go-round of guilt and frustration that comes from reacting to the chaos of motherhood, your planning MUST change to consider this often overlooked factor:
YOU.
Now, if you had a dollar for everytime you heard “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” you’d probably have enough money for Starbucks coffee, even factoring in inflation. So what does this actually look like for overstimulated, overwhelmed moms?
It’s called a sensory smart lifestyle.
As you start to envision your fresh start in fall, start here.
Step 1: Overstimulated Moms Need to Name What You Want
Grab a pencil and paper, and think through these questions.
- What worked well last year for you, and what didn’t?
- Did you end (most) weeks feeling a meaningful connection with yourself and your kids?
- What does that look like for you?
- Would you describe yourself as a pingpong ball, reacting to your kids and your environment?
- When you end your school year, how do you want your kids to describe it?
- What does a good day look like for you?
- How did you handle routine or schedule disruptions?
If your goal is to connect with your kids in meaningful ways and to be able to embrace the freedom that comes from homeschooling, then DON’T do these things.
- Start with your wishlist to-do list
- Leave no margin
- Overbook your own schedule
Overstimulated Moms Should Try these 8 Things Instead
Whether planning is on your mind or not, you can do these 8 things to make your next term a more effective and fulfilling homeschool experience.
1. Be Intentional About Daily Needs
Sleep, nutrition, & movement all dramatically affect your body’s stress responses and the optimal functioning of your nervous system & your whole self . You probably know that, but does your daily & weekly time reflect this? Eat a meal sitting down at least once a day. Move your body on purpose for a little while instead of just using your body as a tool to accomplish your to-do list. Sleep quality dramatically affects your ability to handle over-stimulating environments and exercise self-regulation skills (cite source from sleep course)
2. Be Realistic: Audit your time
Cramming idealism into reality is a recipe for stress and dysregulation. How much time do you ACTUALLY have to do school work? Print a blank 24-hour grid broken down by 15 minutes and write down what you actually do for a week day and weekend day (no shame!). I know this sounds like a lot, but it’s just two days! For the sake of smoother, more satisfying days, I know you can do it! I did this exercise for myself with my homeschool life coach and plan to do it again soon.
3. Observe your own arousal levels throughout the day
This is very enlightening to help you find patterns of arousal throughout your day, and it’s easy to do while you are auditing your time. Just come up with a little symbol key or a number scale to rate how alert and connected you feel. Use words that make sense to you. For example:
1= I may as well be asleep
2= I’m feeling ok but dragging a bit, withdrawing
3= Alert, responsive and connected
4= I’m feeling a bit edgy, distractible, fidgety
5=I’m about to lose it
Then, schedule and plan accordingly when you can. For example, if reading aloud can be really challenging for you because you’re interrupted and distracted, then plan it at a time of day when you’re feeling regulated and perhaps more patient. This is also really helpful to consider for our kids’ arousal levels as well.
4. Make space for meaningful activities for yourself
What hobbies, activities, or routines are special for you? You may have to think back quite a while for this, because it can be hard to maintain these interests with the demands of motherhood & homeschooling. Maybe you want to try something new altogether.
Think of small, bite-sized activities, and things that are easy to pick up and put down according to interruptions. If it’s a hobby with a physical tool, like a violin or a cross-stitching project, put it somewhere that’s easily seen and in-the-way for a little bit of engagement as you are able. I like to embroider, but I choose projects with simple stitches for this reason. If this sort of interrupted activity is dysregulating for you, then carve out a small bit of time during the day or week to engage with it.
5. Nurture relationships for your own co-regulation
Next, you may have heard of co-regulation and how your kids need to co-regulate with you, but did you know that you co-regulate, too? Simply stated, it’s the largely unconscious way that your nervous system harmonizes with other nervous systems in the room. Ever feel like your kids “feed off” of you and your attitude? Well, it goes both ways. So it’s really important for you to have trusting, positive (preferably face to face) peer relationships in your life so that you can feel seen and heard. Even your kids will benefit from your relationships with others. You can read more about co-regulation here.
6. Sprinkle movement throughout your day
Our sensory systems fed by movement (especially proprioception and vestibular) are some of the most starved sensory systems! This is especially problematic because they help us feel grounded and connected in powerful ways. You don’t have to go to the gym everyday (or ever) to get these powerful effects! Think pushing, pulling, carrying, and stretching! Even 15-20 minutes can have hours of positive effects. Check out my blog post about how these understimulated systems lead to overstimulation here:
Overstimulated Moms are Understimulated
7. Check-in with yourself throughout your day
You can do this in 2 easy ways:
Go to a quiet place and non-judgmentally check your thoughts and scan for muscle tension or other sensations, perhaps starting at your head and working your way down. You can remember to do this two easy ways:
– Set an alarm on your phone
– Habit stack and do it after a regular moment in your day, like after coffee, when you go to the bathroom, or as you warm lunch.
8. Consider your “sensory buckets” throughout the day
It’s easy to just focus on your overstimulated senses because they’re basically screaming at you. But what about tapping into your stronger sensory systems? And what about all 8 senses? That’s right, there are 8 not 5.
-Vision
-Hearing
-Smell
-Taste
-Touch
-Vestibular
-Proprioception
-Vestibular
-Interoception
You can check out more information about the lesser known senses here.
Feeding all of your senses is important to feel grounded and connected throughout your day. You could imagine that everyone has differently sized buckets for these sensory systems, though. Maybe it takes more or less sensory stimulation for your brain to ‘notice’ it. Then because your bucket is smaller, you may respond by seeking more of that sensation or avoiding more of it… or maybe not! Everyone is different.
You can learn about your unique sensory systems and how to support yourself holistically by understanding your own “sensory buckets” and how to best fill them throughout your day. The demands of momlife and homeschooling can be so loud that we don’t pay attention to these buckets until they’re overflowing.
Do these points seem like A LOT?
Over the next month, you can read regular articles doing a deep dive into some of the most important, less familiar points. You’re also invited to join us in the private facebook group where we’ll be discussing these points and planning real-life applicationfor a fresh start for our homeschools!
