Overstimulation might just be part of your puzzle if you’re a highly sensitive person.
It’s easy to get stuck on the hard part of being a highly sensitive person– dealing with overstimulation. But being a highly sensitive person is powerful in so many ways that make you a fantastic & attuned mom.
That is, if you can avoid hitting burnout, as so many overstimulated moms do.
Dealing with loss in our extended family and being surrounded by loss in light of recent hurricanes in my region has this on the forefront of my mind. HSP’s tend to be deeply empathetic, but it can be exhausting. Listen to episode 5 of the podcast for more ways that I’m navigating this personally. I truly hope you’ll find some positive steps forward yourself.
What is a highly sensitive person?
Elaine Aron is a psychologist who coined this term based on her observations of people and how we relate to others. It gets to be a mouthful, so I’ll use “HSP” interchangeably.
She summarizes the traits of a highly sensitive person using the acronym DOES or D-O-E-S:
D: Deeply process what’s going on around and inside you. Overthinker…? Keep listening then.
O: Overstimulated easily by your environment
E: Emotional responsiveness or empathy
S: Subtle Stimuli or Greater Awareness of Subtle Stimuli
So the O might seem pretty straightforward : Overstimulation. But it’s interesting to note that just because you’re overstimulated… that doesn’t mean that you always avoid sensory input. Sometimes you can be sensory seeking even though you’re sensitive. That’s because you have multiple sensory systems.
I know… it sounds backwards. I’ll do a future post about sensory seeking vs. sensory avoiding, but for now, let’s suffice to say this: Just because you get overstimulated easily doesn’t mean it’s always that way OR that all of your sensory systems are that way.
It’s intricate and that’s why I love working one on one with moms because each person is so different. If you’re interested in knowing how coaching can help you navigate the waters of life as a highly sensitive person, book your free consultation here.
Taken from her website, Elaine Aron says of HSP’s:
You are also more easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time.
How common is it to be a highly sensitive person?
High sensitivity is a trait that’s found in about 20 percent of the population, according to her study of about 1,200 people, so you’re definitely not alone if you’re in this subset.
Interestingly, this same research found that not all HSPs are introverts. About 30% would be classified as extroverts.
Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) isn’t an official diagnosis. And while some people have varying feelings about labels, to the extent that they aid in your ability to understand yourself and explain your needs to others– they can be very helpful.
If you’re interested in learning more about highly sensitive people, I’d highly recommend Elaine Aron’s books, including The Highly Sensitive Parent & the The Highly Sensitive Person & The Highly Sensitive Child. Easy to remember titles…right? She even has a self questionnaire you can complete or maybe you could have a friend or loved one complete it, too.
You can also read more about HSP’s at her website.
Why does it matter?
At the end of the day, the world is brimming with 3-lettered labels. So why should you care if you’re a highly sensitive person… not just an overstimulated mom?
You need to understand yourself so that you can understand your needs before you exhaust yourself. So, if you are easily overstimulated by your environment, you should consider whether the rest of the description of an HSP is helpful for you.
Just like you need food and water, you need time to reflect on your experiences.
Just like you feel your hands and feet, you feel for others deeply.
You need time to exercise this in a healthy way so that you can feel fulfilled and not burned out.
Understanding your needs as an HSP is essential as your set priorities for your limited time as a busy mom.
Bonus: If you’re highly sensitive, there’s a high chance you have a kid who is too. So understanding yourself will help you connect more meaningfully with your highly sensitive child.
Because of your deep connection and empathy, times of crisis and difficulty–for yourself as well as others– can be particularly difficult as a highly sensitive person.
For 3 tips on mom-ing through such times, check out episode 5 of the Sensational Moms podast, where I share some steps I’m taking to maintain my own mental and physical health in times of communal tragedy and personal sadness.
